Jessica Simpson Baby: Eric Johnson’s Fiance Ends World’s Longest Pregnancy
Sweet merciful Lord! The seemingly unending pregnancy of Jessica Simpson, the former squeeze of Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, has finally come to an end. And, much to everyone’s amazement, the end result wasn’t the birth of a full grown human being.
Us Weekly was the first to report that Simpson gave birth to 9 lbs. 13 ounces baby girl named Maxwell Drew Johnson. According to the ever-present “unnamed source,” both mother and baby are resting comfortably.
No word on how fiance, and former 49ers tight end, Eric Johnson is doing. Presumably, the first-time father is a nervous wreck.
Much has been written recently about the perceived length of Simpson’s pregnancy. In fact, just last night, there was a picture of Simpson on Buzzfeed with a headline that simply read, “Still?” We were just a few days away from the next headline, “WTF seriously…still?”
This whole thing has been very odd. I mean she was only pregnant for the customary nine months—so why did it seem like so much more? Maybe it has something to do with Simpson’s infamous penchant for over-sharing details that nobody wants to hear.
Every time she visited a talk show or sat down for an interview with anyone, it seemed Simpson was dishing on everything from pregnancy related flatulence and the “swamp ass” it created to uncomfortable revelations about her pregnant sex life with fiance Eric Johnson.
Simpson didn’t divulge a single detail during her pregnancy that I didn’t ultimately regret hearing or reading. What I wouldn’t give to go back in time to a moment before I had her Demi Moore copycat Elle cover photo was seared into my retinas forever.
And then there’s the elephant in the room—her vast size—which is where all this confusion ultimately stems from. Simpson has taken way too much flack for her weight over the years, so there’s no way to say this without sounding insensitive, but in the photo she tweeted at Halloween, it looks like she’s six months pregnant.
Apparently she was only three months along at the time, but that’s why this has seemed so long. Simpson has obviously gotten substantially larger in recent months. Her constant public appearances and her self-described “waddling” has only served to draw further attention to it.
But you know what, it doesn’t even matter anymore. It’s all over. The baby is here and healthy and everyone involved is doing just swell.
I swear though—if she gets pregnant again by the end of this year, I am going to completely lose it.
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